Random Riddle
I have a neck, but no head. I have two arms, but no hands. What am I?

Random Joke
Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things." "True enough," said Mrs. Whembleton. "If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!"

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